☆８個掲載しています。
【とある友人のうわさ話】
「おい！アイツが、いろんなところに借金しまくって、精神病院にブチこまれたって聞いたけど、本当かい！？」
「いや、違うよ、アイツは借金したからじゃなくて、それを”全部返そうとしたから”イカれちまっただけさ」
🌺借金は、”フミタオシテ” ナンボ？ ユダヤジョーク🌺
— のほ🌸ユダヤ🌷一生学び🌷 (@noho_sholom) September 17, 2020
【父と息子の寝る前の会話】
父「息子よ、寝る前にちゃんと神さまにお祈りしないと、天国にいけないよ」
息子「ボク、天国になんていきたくないよ！」
父「なんだって？」
息子「パパとママが行くところに行きたいんだ！」
🌺両親は”地獄行きだ”といいたいのかい、息子よ？ユダヤジョーク🌺
— のほ🌸ユダヤ🌷一生学び🌷 (@noho_sholom) September 16, 2020
アメリカのユダヤ人小学校での話。
先生「イギリスと月では、どっちの方が遠く離れているでしょうか？」
生徒「もちろん、イギリスです！月は見えますが、イギリスは見えません！見えないくらい遠くにあるのでしょう」
🌺子どもでも”見えるものしか信じない現実主義”がユダヤ魂だ！ユダヤジョーク🌺
— のほ🌸ユダヤ🌷一生学び🌷 (@noho_sholom) September 15, 2020
ユダヤ人の母が、息子の大学合格祝いに、ネクタイを２本贈った。
息子がはじめて母のくれたネクタイをしめて出かけようとした。
「ほら母さん！似合うだろ。ありがとう！」
「あら素敵♪でも、もう一本のは気に入らなかったの？」
🌺一気に２本つけられません！母の愛情重たすぎ！ユダヤジョーク🌺
— のほ🌸ユダヤ🌷一生学び🌷 (@noho_sholom) September 14, 2020
「金繰りで困ってるんだ！助けてくれないか？」
「なぁに、大丈夫さ。そのうちに神が助けてくれるよ」
「だよな。お前もそう思うよな！
だからさ、神の保証つきってことで、それまで金を貸してくれよ。あの神が保証するんだから信じられるだろ！」
🌺使えるもんは神でも使え！ユダヤジョーク🌺
— のほ🌸ユダヤ🌷一生学び🌷 (@noho_sholom) September 13, 2020
有名な医者が大勢の前で講演をした。
「毎日食べるものは、添加物、脂肪分、有害なものばかりです！
みなさん！もっとも有害な食べ物はなにか、分かりますか？」
最前列に座っていたユダヤ老人が手をあげて叫んだ。
「ウエディングケーキです！」
🌺結婚したことが最も有害！？ユダヤジョーク🌺
— のほ🌸ユダヤ🌷一生学び🌷 (@noho_sholom) September 11, 2020
訪問販売を３０年続けた、セールスマンとの会話
「長年、訪問先でずいぶん侮辱されてきたと思うが、どう乗り切ったの？」
「全く、散々だよ。訪問しても、追い出されたり、カタログを床になげつけられたりは数知れず。
しかし、侮辱かい？それは１回も受けてないさ」
これぞ商魂！ユダヤジョーク🌺
— のほ🌸ユダヤ🌷一生学び🌷 (@noho_sholom) September 11, 2020
男が墓石にすがって泣いていると、通行人が現れた。
「君はなぜ死んだ！私の人生はお先真っ暗だ！神よ！無慈悲だ！」
「かわいそうに。嫁さんが亡くなったのですか？」
「いいえ。死んだのは妻の前夫です。彼は唯一、私の結婚生活の苦しみをわかる人だったんだ！」
🌺何の共感！？ユダヤジョーク🌺
— のほ🌸ユダヤ🌷一生学び🌷 (@noho_sholom) September 10, 2020
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